Why Can't I?
by GreenEyed14
Summary: A songfic of MaxFang based on the song Why Can't I? by Liz Phair


The beginning of this takes place while the flock is still staying with Anne and Fang and Max are dating Lissa and Sam.

I was listening to this song and I thought it would be absolutely perfect for "Faxness" as people on the board call it.

Why Can't I?

Get a load of me, get a load of you  
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you  
It's just like we were meant to be.

"Oh, it's such a relief to get out of that woman's house!" I said, exasperated. Fang and I were walking down the New York streets at night, talking about Anne and our hatred of the woman.

"Yeah," he chuckled, looking at me. There was something in his eyes tonight that wasn't usually there, I just couldn't place it.

"She thinks she can just walk into our lives and take my job!"

"No one can take your job, Max," he replied quietly.

I looked at him quizzically. "Something's different about you tonight. What is it?"

"Nothing," he said calmly, and reverted his gaze to the sidewalk in front of us again, grinning.

Holding hands with you, and we're out at night  
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right  
And I've got someone waiting too

We walked a few minutes longer in silence and he cautiously reached for my hand and entwined our fingers. I looked up at him in surprise, and seeing the fear in his eyes, my face relaxed into a smile and I squeezed his hand a little.

"What about Lisa?" I asked teasingly.

"What about Sam?" he asked with just as much taunting, a small smile playing on his lips.

We made a silent agreement right then to forget them for the night.

What if this is just the beginning  
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Thinking back on this night, my breath always caught in my throat and my vocal chords seized up. It seemed like the most perfect night of my life.

"I gotta question," I said hesitantly.

Fang looked up from his drawing. "Yeah?"

I looked into his beautiful eyes. "Why can't I breathe?" I asked, my voice barely audible.

He looked at me for a second and just as I was about to back out of the room, he got up.

"Maybe this is why," he said.

And he kissed me. I swear, I literally melted in his arms.

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up  
Finding someone else you can't get enough of  
Someone who wants to be with you too

We moved on from Anne's. Finally. That woman was getting on my last nerve! The good/bad thing was that Good: Fang had to break it off with Lissa. And Bad: I had to break it off with Sam. I'm just glad I didn't get too serious. I know I shouldn't have gone on a date with him anyway. That could complicate things.

"Hey. What cha doin'?" Fang asked, brushing my wing with his.

"Thinking," I answered.

"Oh. You know I'm always here, right?" he asked unexpectedly.

I looked at him, wondering just what he meant. "Yeah. Of course I know that," I smiled.

"Good."

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch  
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch  
But wouldn't it be beautiful  
Here we are, we're at the beginning  
We haven't fucked yet, but my head's spinning

I was sitting on my bed at the hotel we were staying at for the night when Fang walked up to me, pressed me onto the bed, and kissed me.

It took me a second to respond, but when his actions reached my brain, I kissed him back.

We stayed that way for a minute, him holding me down while still standing, still kissing feverishly until he broke away, leaving me lying there with my eyes still closed and my head feeling light and dizzy.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

It felt like my brains splattered against the inside of my skull... again.

I felt myself falling out of the sky and only a few seconds later, I felt strong arms grab me and I got lost in the warm, familiar scent... Fang.

I swam into conciousness just as he laid me gingerly on the ground and my eyelids felt like lead.

I could barely feel his breath on my face and I inhaled deeply. His breath always smelled like warm peppermints.

I knew he was going to kiss me and as it did everytime this happened, my breath caught in my throat.

And then it happened. Our lips connected and this time it didn't take any time for me to respond. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed one hand under my head and one in the small of my back, pulling me closer.

We broke away and my eyelids were light enough now for me to be able to open them. Very slowly. I saw his dark, chocolate eyes staring into mine with concern.

"I'm fine," I said.

He whistled the rest of the flock down and we slept there in a field, his arm around my waist.

I'd love for you to make me wonder  
Where it's goin'  
I'd love for you to pull me under  
Somethin's growin'  
for this that we can control  
Baby I am dyin'

"Hey," Fang grumbled, passing me.

I looked at him in surprise. He had been awfully rude lately.

We were at a local pool after hours, so nobody but us was there.

It was a very low-tech place with no cameras or alarms. Just barbed wire and a locked front door.

I stepped into the shallow end to test the water. It was pretty warm, considering it was almost winter.

I swam to the deep end where Fang was diving under and coming back up every few seconds.

I reached him and he came up. He looked at me and went under again.

Suddenly, I was pulled underwater and I breathed in fast, before I went under. I opened my eyes and there was Fang, looking at me.

His lips crashed against mine. Again, I kissed him back. This was the best kiss we had shared so far and being underwater helped a lot.

You should try it sometime. We came up for air and I lost consciousness again, for the last time.

My expiration date had come.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you

"Max!" Fang yelled, shaking me. He pulled me out of the water. "Max! Wake up!" he yelled again, his eyes becoming tear-glazed.

I watched all this from the corner of the room. I may have left in body, but my spirit would be with them always, guiding them on what was now their mission to save the world.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you  
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you  
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it  
So tell me  
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

The flock had found Dr. Martinez and Ella and told them the news.

They were holding a funeral for my body in their backyard, where I would be buried.

Now the flock could visit me anytime they very well pleased, and have those wonderful home-made cookies Ella's mom always made.

After much hugging, crying and goodbyes were exchanged, everyone left but Fang.

He slowly walked up to my casket and looked at the corpse for a minute, and leaned down to place a kiss on the temple.

Still watching his as I would always until he too reached his expiration date, which I hoped would be a long, long time from now, I saw a single tear roll down his cheek.

I walked over to him and placed an invisible hand on his shoulder, kissing his cheek.

"I love you, Max," he whispered to the body.

"I love you too," I answered, and I knew he heard me when he smiled and walked inside to join the others.

Song by Liz Phair


End file.
